Factory 110, Mayhem 90: Mayhem has no depth yet somehow continues to have the high scoring bench each week
Yankees 106, MSG 79.5: Sure, Gibbs has dominated weeks 1-3 – let’s see if he can do it in weeks 15-17
Snappers 103, Chumps 79.5: This is the correct score after reversing Monday’s trade (more on that in a minute)
Guns 96.5, Great One 96: Welcome to the CFFL, newbie
Maulers 93.5, Torpedoes 84: After Thursday night Torpedoes led 52-0
SOL 80, Weasels 55.5: Take out the one gadget play for Deebo (see below) and Weasels entire roster of WRs scored 1 point
LEAGUE BIDNESS
If you haven’t heard by now, you either need to read the group chat or sign up for email notifications from CBS. There was a glitch in the matrix on Monday that caused an illegal trade to go through.
I got a notification on Monday of a Weasels/Chumps trade. To be honest, I didn’t think anything of it, I just checked that both players weren’t injured and approved it. In hindsight, I should have caught that the trade was for two players who had played on Sunday and were locked, and thus should not have been eligible to be traded.
Once I approved it, Chumps’ active lineup dropped to eight players and became illegal, which by rule resulted in a score of 0. I didn’t check the league scores on Monday, and it wasn’t until Jimmy commented in the group chat today that I saw what happened.
Tonight I reversed the trade and canceled the transaction fees. Chumps’ score was restored but as of this writing their total Points For is not including the restored week 3 points. I’ll keep an eye on that and will keep the correct tally in case CBS never fixes it, as points scored is one of our tiebreakers.
I have no idea what caused the glitch. I’ll reach out to CBS support but I’ll be surprised if we get anything useful. My guess is that the new app is to blame. And also AI somehow, because I don’t trust that shit.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Leap Of Faith edition)
Week 3 Awards: Hard Luck to Great One for scoring 96 in a loss. Dumb Luck to SOL for scoring 80 in a win.
No Bench Mob or All In. Bad Beat goes to Great One for losing by .5 point. With a score that narrow you can point to a million reasons for a Bad Beat but I’ll blame it on Joe Burrow’s game-ending fumble.
Week 3 Overreactions
- 3-0 on the way to 9-8: Raiders
- 0-3 on the way to 9-8: Texans
- Fugazi (and loving it): Packers
- I’m really curious to see how Jim Harbaugh handles this season. He’s never lost like he’s going to lose this season, and he’s hard to get along with when he wins. I’d say there’s a slim but non-zero chance he runs himself out of town before the season ends.
- Not a thing, will never be a thing
- Kyle Pitts
- Jameson Williams
- Brian Thomas
- C.J. Stroud
- J.K. Dobbins
Team of the Week
| QB | Brock Purdy | Maulers | 30 |
| RB | Jahmyr Gibbs | Yankees | 34 |
| RB | Bijan Robinson | Torpedoes | 33 |
| WR | Jaxon Smith-Njigba | Snappers | 24 |
| WR | Drake London | Torpedoes | 19 |
| TE | George Kittle | Factory | 23 |
| WR/TE | Brock Bowers | SOL | 22 |
| PK | Spencer Shrader | FA | 17 |
| DST | Vikings | FA | 26 |
| Total | 228 |
The MLB postseason started today, so here are my 2026 postseason preference rankings.
- Cubs
- Yankees
- Guardians
- Dodgers
- Padres
- Phillies
- Brewers
- Rays
- White Sox
- Braves
- Red Sox
- F*cking Astros
Speaking of the f*cking Astros, they lost today
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. Bijan had a nifty 55 yard run on Thursday night
4. Jahymr did his best Barry Sanders impression
3. Kain Medrano – yes, THAT Kain Medrano – had a nice pick 6 off of Sam Darnold
2. Oh my, Kenyon Sadiq
1. You gotta love it when the ol’ hook and ladder actually works
Will Levis Memorial Bonehead Play #1
Cam Ward did his best Jameis impression and cost his team a win
I see these shows like Fantasy Focus (ESPN) and NFL Fantasy Live (NFL Network) and seriously wonder – who is the audience for these shows? I’ve certainly never tuned into one. I figure casual fantasy players wouldn’t watch because they’re, like, casual. Sharks wouldn’t be interested because we have other places to get our information that are tailored for our leagues and teams. So who’s left? I don’t get it.
Besides, we all know that the only show that dispensed any real fantasy football wisdom was The League.
Stat of the week: Only four players in NFL history have rushed for six TDs in nine consecutive seasons
- Jim Brown (1957-65)
- Marshall Faulk (1994-2003)
- LaDainian Tomlinson (2001-10)
- Josh Allen (2018-present)
And now, a moment of NFL Zen
The utter nonsense, the far away stare, the reporter unable to recover – this is perfection.
UPDATE: apparently he was paraphrasing a Bible quote (Philippians 3:13) but I still prefer to think he was somewhere on Mars.
UPDATE UPDATE: he also said this
I will weep – for all of us – the day the Giants bench him.
Will Levis Memorial Bonehead Play #2
Trevor Lawrence playing like Mayhem did draft him
And the Yankees beat the Red Sox
Coaching Chowderhead of the Week
Only the Cowboys could have massive failures in all three phases of the game in the final twenty seconds to secure a loss.
I want to like Brian Schottenheimer but he’s twenty games in and we haven’t seen any sign that he can manage a game in crunch time.
And what’s up with the “greatest kicker in history” putting two kickoffs out of bounds and the last one through the endzone? Every single kickoff should be a knuckleball that lands on the ten yard line, period.
Trivia question: Derrick Henry leads all active players with 34 career games with multiple rushing TDs. The next two closest players are tied with 18. Name them.
Hint: One is active but may never play again.
Non-NFL Play of the Week
The NHL regular season also got underway today, and ESPN had a nice opening video.
- Nice get with Liam Neeson, but I bet you he’s never seen a hockey game in his life
- Any hockey montage ever should include Brett Hull’s Cup winner in Buffalo because it counted, f*ck you
- I wonder if it’s a coincidence that the vid is titled “Leap of Faith” and a relatively unknown Liam Neeson starred in a movie by the same name in 1992? Pretty good movie too, Commish says check it out.
Funniest Vid Ever
The Commish Track is Change In My Life, from the movie “Leap of Faith”
Uni watch, week 3
Buffalo Bills
Ugh. Battleship gray with a truly awful helmet. Makes the Cold Front unis look stellar by comparison. D-
The WAG of the Week is Christen Goff, wife of Jared Goff. Lucky bastard.
Week 4 kicks off eight straight weeks of non-divisional play, aka Mayhem’s annual 6-2 run through those other, lesser divisions. Or at least that’s how I remember it. I wonder what Bruce would say?
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true
Or is it something worse
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 4,
The Commish
Trivia answer: Josh Jacobs and Jonathan Taylor
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