Yankees 170.5, Snappers 106.5: Yankees posted the 4th highest regular season score in CFFL history, and 5th highest overall
Maulers 146.5, Chumps 80.5: The first of four CFFL winners that lined up in a two TE formation. That has to be a record.
Torpedoes 128, Mayhem 73: For the record, Mayhem will not be trading away the #1 pick next season
Weasels 114, Guns 92: Guns had the only two TE formation that lost this week
SOL 112, MSG 98.5: SOL got 57 from a trio of Rams Monday night to remain undefeated
Gretzky 97, Factory 77.5: Great One won this one with QB (Burrow) and defense (Texans).
League Bidness
After last week’s R&C went up I thought we had another glitch on our hands. I had an open bench spot so I put in multiple waiver claims without dropping anyone, thinking that only one would be awarded. When both were awarded, I suddenly had an illegal bench of eight players.
Thinking this was an error, I immediately dropped the extra player (Mike Gesicki) and wiped out the $3 fee, then posted about it on the league message board. As I did so, it occurred to me “wait, I think this has happened before”, but it was really late and I figured I’d look into it the next day.
Thankfully, CFFL Ombudsman Jimmy reminded me that this did happen before, and it was determined that CBS was functioning “normally”, or as normal as it does. When we added the IR slots during Covid, the max roster size was bumped up to 19, and we found CBS allows teams to add players up to 19, regardless of their injury status. In other words, we can add players up to the max of 19 even if it results in an illegal bench.
So I went back and reinstated the Gesicki fee and called it a dumb-ass tax for not remembering how stupid CBS can be sometimes.
And if I’ve never said it before, I’ll do it now. If we decide the glitches are too annoying I could be convinced to move to an established site like ESPN, Yahoo, or MFL, but we are NEVER moving the league to Sleeper as long as I’m Commish. You’ll have to pull a palace coup first.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Cystourethroscopy with Ureteroscopy and Pyeloscopy and Lithotripsy edition)
Week 5 Awards: Hard Luck to Snappers with 106.5, Dumb Luck to Great One with 97.
Commish Bidness
Your Commish is playing hurt this week after undergoing a “Cystourethroscopy with Ureteroscopy and Pyeloscopy and Lithotripsy with insertion of double-J stent” last Friday. Translation – I had a stone that was too big to pass lodged up in my kidney, so they snaked a camera and a laser up a route through which nothing should ever be snaked to blast it to pieces.
I would tell you about the stent but I can feel all of you wincing already so I’ll spare you.
Fortunately I was under general anesthesia for the whole thing, and it was an outpatient procedure so I was home in a few hours. Recovery has been slow and I won’t fully feel like normal until the stent comes out on Monday, but each day things get a little better, and my life will return to its regularly scheduled drudgery tomorrow when I go back to work. But I’m here today for the R&C, and for you, my loyal audience.
Team of the Week
| QB | Drake Maye | MSG | 38 |
| RB | Jahmyr Gibbs | Yankees | 32 |
| RB | Jaylen Warren | Maulers | 30 |
| WR | Christian Watson | Chumps | 26 |
| WR | Parker Washington | MSG | 24 |
| TE | Isaiah Likely | Torpedoes | 26.5 |
| WR/TE | Puka Nacua/Brock Bowers | Weasels/SOL | 20 |
| PK | Jason Myers | Maulers | 23 |
| DST | Jets | Yankees | 26 |
| Total | 245.5 |
Week 5 Overreactions
- The Ravens are not a franchise prone to personnel mistakes, but they made a big one keeping Mark Andrews over Isaiah Likely. Years from now, NFL historians will note it as the beginning of the Ravens’ undoing.
- Your MVP race through five games:
- Brock Purdy
- Josh Allen
- Ken Walker
- Bryce Young
- I always say that a seven game series doesn’t get interesting until the home team loses, and thus it doesn’t mean too much when the home team goes up 2-0. But man, it’s hard to see the Dodgers getting back in the NLCS.
- With all the hard work NFL head coaches supposedly put in, and all the money they make, how do they not understand that eight seconds is an eternity? Hat Trick Cojones only needed :13 in a playoff game. Lamar only needed :07 to beat the Cowboys. Yet the Eagles kicked a FG with :08 left and thought they’d won the game.
In truth though I have a hard time completely blaming Sirianni. All they had to do was cover one kickoff and they would have won.
- At this point I don’t care who wins the goddamn election, just make the AI commercials stop . . .
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. The Cowboys, with a three-point halftime lead, gave up this run to Bucky Irving to open the second half, and we all instantly knew how it would go from there
4. Jaylen Warren housed it from 80 . . .
. . . then did it again from 50
3. Still not sure how Christian Watson caught this
2. Trey McBride made the garbage time catch of the year
1. The Eagles only had to tackle 47 year old Ameer Abdullah – or even hold him up for one more second – to secure a win in London. FAIL.
Will Levis Memorial Bonehead Play of the Week
Stat of the week #1
Coaching Chowderheads
So much has been made of the game-ending screwups by Dan Quinn and Nick Sirianni that no one is talking about Mike MacDonald at the end of the first half against the 49ers. Down a point, the Seahawks called two timeouts to preserve time before the 49ers punted them back to the 4 with :18 left. Instead of taking a knee, they handed off to George Holani, who held the ball like he was allergic to it, and the 49ers scored an easy TD in a game they would ultimately win by three.
Non-NFL Play of the Week
Trivia question: Who caught Fernando Mendoza’s first NFL pass?
The Commish Track is New York State of Mind by Billy Joel, on the 50th anniversary of the Turnstiles album.
Funniest Vid Ever
Uni watch, week 5
Los Angeles Chargers
I mean, if you’re going to go monochrome, that’s a pretty good color to do it with. Thankfully they wore white socks, because even that shade of blue would be too much if it went from shoulders to ankles. The numbers on the helmets and the bolts on the pants are always awesome. Grade: B
Green Bay Packers
This is the Packers “Rivalries” uniform, which apparently all teams will have in the next few seasons. It’s not the best alternate uni ever, but it’s the best Packers alternate I’ve seen. I like the “desaturated vintage green” and the “alabaster” – aka off-white – pants and helmets. The number font is supposed to evoke the “intricate lettering on paper currency” which I approve, and the interlocking GB logo is something Vince Lombardi used to wear on practice hats, so there’s that. But Google-provided info aside, it’s different, and NFL unis need more of that. Grade: B+
New England Patriots
I’ve said before that I wasn’t exactly pining to see these unis again, but they’re so much better than the Pats’ standard home unis that I wish they would go back to them full time. Grade: B-
Week 6 Preview
If this is to be believed, the Seahawks/Broncos matchup on Thursday will give us the greatest NFL uni matchup EVER
The Seahawks’ throwback blue and green vs. the Orange Crush? I’m already salivating. Preview Grade: A+
Stat of the week #2
Michael Evans won Mayhem a championship a few years ago, so he was already one of my favorite players, but this cements him as an all-timer.
All this time, I never knew that Michael Evans was Trevon’s daddy . . .
The WAG of the Week is Haley Cavinder, wife of Cowboys TE Jake Ferguson. She is a rare two-time CFFL babe who made her first appearance with her twin sister Hanna in week 15, 2022.
That’s a wrap for week 5. We’re two weeks into non-divisional play and one division has already established its dominance. Will the trend continue for week 6?
Our Boss lyric comes from one of my favorite Bruce songs, “Long Walk Home” from his 2007 album Magic.
You know that flag flying over the courthouse
Means certain things are set in stone
Who we are, what we’ll do and what we won’t
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 6,
The Commish
Trivia answer
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