I don’t remember seeing standings like these before.
1. x-Big Guns (8-3); beat MSG, Snappers
2. y-Multiple Scoregasms (8-3)
3. Sons Of Liberty (7-4)
4. x-Deep Snappers (8-3)
5. Season 27 Champs (7-4)
6. The Dirty Yankees (4-7); 1-1 vs. Factory/Mayhem, 2-1 division, beat Torpedoes, Swerve
7. Freedom Factory (4-7); beat Mayhem, Torpedoes, Swerve
8. Electric Mayhem (4-7); 1-1 vs Torpedoes/Swerve, 1054 points
9. Damn The Torpedoes (4-7); beat Swerve, Maulers, Weasels
10. DoubleSwerve (4-7); beat Maulers
11. Maulers (4-7); beat Weasels
12. Weasels (4-7)
MSG has clinched the East and at least the #3 seed. SOL will clinch the West with a win. Chumps will clinch a playoff spot with a win.
If we have a big ugly tiebreaker for the final rankings after week 14 I’ll give a thorough explanation of each one. Until then the general process is:
- Divisional tiebreakers are applied first to determine a “winner” from each division
- Non-divisional tiebreakers are then applied to determine the overall “winner”
- Once the overall “winner” is determined, the process starts over from the beginning
SOL 124.5, Mayhem 77: Thanks a lot Deputy.
Factory 120, Weasels 71.5: With CMC, Dak and Pickens, Factory might be the most top-heavy team in the league.
Guns 110.5, Torpedoes 102: Guns keeps on doing just enough to win.
Yankees 110, Swerve 61: This win put Yankees on top of that 4-7 mess.
Snappers 103, MSG 76.5: Kimani Vidal was not an adequate bye week replacement for Jonathan Taylor.
Chumps 77, Maulers 58: Don’t look now but Chumps has won five in a row.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Vegas Baby! edition)
Week 11 Awards: Torpedoes get the Hard Luck for losing despite scoring 102 points. Chumps get the Dumb Luck for winning with 77.
I toyed with the idea of giving Torpedoes the Bad Beat thanks to CeeDee’s drop in the final minutes, but if he had scored I don’t think it would’ve been enough to win it for Torps. Plus, no one who gets 32 points from a waiver wire pickup can claim a Bad Beat.
Remember last week when I said that figuring out the largest ever margin of victory would be too much work? Wellllllll . . .
Turns out I completely forgot that I had done most of the work a few years ago. I found an old Excel file where I had copied all the weekly scores from 2001 – 2021, so it didn’t take too long to add 2022 – 2024 and calculate the margins of victory . . .
. . . and it turns out MSG’s 110 point margin is not the all-time CFFL record. That honor belongs to SOL, who beat Guns by 111 in week 6 of 2007.
Yeah, I have a problem.
Team of the Week
| QB | Josh Allen | Guns | 44 |
| RB | Sean Tucker | Torpedoes | 32 |
| RB | Christian McCaffrey | Factory | 30 |
| WR | Tetairoa McMillan | SOL | 25 |
| WR | George Pickens | Factory | 20 |
| TE | Trey McBride | Snappers | 22 |
| WR/TE | George Kittle | Yankees | 21 |
| PK | Wil Lutz | SOL | 18 |
| DST | Steelers | Guns | 27 |
| Total | 239 |
Week 11 Overreactions
- I think we need to look at boosting WR scoring. The leading WR (JSN) is #26 overall, and the second WR (Pickens) is #36 overall. Maybe we need to add half or full point PPR for WRs.
- Of all the things on my NFL bingo card this year, “Dolphins rally to save Coach Nerd’s job” was not one of them. I was so sure that if any team was going to implode this season it would be Miami. Now with their upcoming schedule it looks like they could go on a run. Maybe not having Tyreek Hill was a blessing in disguise.
- I don’t care how soft the Pats schedule has been, I’m still going with a Pats/Rams Superb Owl.
- Commish’s MVP rankings
- Josh Allen
- Jonathan Taylor
- Matthew Stafford
- Drake Maye
- Greg Olsen is still the best NFL commentator but J.J. Watt might already be Fox’s second best analyst (Tom Brady is a little better but still sucks). J.J. is still raw but he gets his point across well and he’s funny when he gets the chance. It doesn’t hurt that he’s paired with Ian Eagle who’s maybe the best play-by-play guy in the business.
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. Devin Bush had a nice pick 6 for the Browns. Too bad it was all downhill after that.
4. Until this moment on Sunday I had never heard of Tyell Shavers.
3. We have the leader in the clubhouse for punt of the year.
2. Bijan ran through and around the Panthers defense on his first TD.
- Christian Watson made a great catch for the game-winning TD.
Bonus Trickeration of the Week: Mark Andrews scored the game-winning TD on a 35 yard run off a fake tush push.
The Will Levis Memorial Bonehead Play of the Week goes to this throw from Joe Flacco.
Remember when Will Levis did stupid shit like that every game? God I miss him.
We’ve wrapped up non-divisional play so let’s look at how everyone did.
Division records:
Central 21-11, .656
East 14-18, .438
West 13-19, .406
Team records:
6-2: Guns, MSG, Snappers, Chumps
5-3: SOL
4-4: Weasels
3-5: Factory, Mayhem, Swerve
2-6: Yankees, Torpedoes, Maulers
Three Central teams went 6-2. Time for them to beat up on each other for a change.
The Non-NFL Play of the Week was the Jason Robertson scoring a natural hat trick against the Flyers.
A cool bonus in that game was the return of Ralph Strangis to the broadcast booth. Ralphie was inducted into the Stars Hall of Fame before the game and they turned the mic over to him for a few minutes in the second period. He was understandably rusty but there were a couple of moments when the old Ralph resurfaced and it was glorious.
I don’t mean to keep coming back to Marshawn Kneeland but I had to share this if you didn’t see it. Ed Werder asked Solomon Thomas how the Cowboys can escape from the grief, and this was his answer.
Hochuli watch – I don’t know where the Hochster will be this week but for week 11 he was banished to the Texans/Titans game, a godforsaken matchup if there ever was one. The only way it could have been worse for him was if the game had been in Houston.
This week I hope he gets Browns/Raiders, but at least he’d get a trip to Vegas out of it. I’d also be cool with him getting Jags/Cards or Falcons/Saints.
Speaking of Vegas – and this is a serious question – would anyone be up for a Vegas trip? I haven’t been in a long time and since my unshackling this year I’m getting a jones to go back, maybe in January. Hit me up if you’re interested.
The Commish Track is Beer Run by Todd Snider.
Uni Watch – there wasn’t much happening in week 11 save for a couple of teams that went with all black unis.
With the Cardinals it wasn’t new, as they’ve trotted these out before.
It’s not terrible but I’m just not a fan of monochrome unis. This one at least has enough white in it to keep it from being truly hideous. The black helmet is kinda cool though. And I’ve mentioned it before but the 49ers road whites are among my favorites.
And then we have this.
I’m sure there are plenty of people who dig it but this one doesn’t work for me at all. First off, I’m not sure you can have three other colors on an all-black uni. It needs to lose the blue or maybe reduce it to a smaller stripe on the pants. Second, I get that yellow is going to pop against black but that pops a little too much for me. Lastly, the white should be the piping around the number, not the entire number.
But the best unis I saw this week weren’t in the NFL.
That’s the Detroit Red Wings and New York Rangers doing some kind of color rush thing where the NHL allowed both teams to wear color jerseys instead of one wearing white. And guess what? In a game that’s played on a large white sheet of ice, the two color thing really worked, so much so that the NHL is reportedly considering allowing it more often (it didn’t hurt that the teams got into a massive postgame brawl as shown above). Count me in. It would be cool to see the Stars green vs Nashville yellow or Colorado burgundy. LFG NHL!
Trivia question: Jacoby Brissett set an NFL record with 47 completions. Whose record did he break? Hint: two guys were tied for the previous record.1
I don’t think I’ve mentioned Shedeur Sanders this season, mostly because I don’t think he’s worth the attention, but he finally got into a game and the NFL actually put together a “highlight” reel. Either that or they were deliberately trying to embarrass him, because it’s a five-minute trainwreck of yeesh.
I’ll say this though – I’m not ready to write off his whole career yet. Let’s see how he does once he gets some first team reps in practice, or better yet moves to an actual professional organization.
The Nepo Babe of the Week is Ava Phillippe, daughter of Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon. If you’re counting she’s our second Ava, to go along with an Eve and an Eva. Must be a nepo thing.
We’re back to divisional play for three weeks, and then onto the playoffs. Don’t forget the trade deadline is tomorrow (Wednesday 11/19) at 10:59pm Central Time.
For our signoff one-liner we’ll go back to a classic from Steven Wright: “I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 12,
The Commish
- Drew Bledsoe and Jared Goff ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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