With two weeks left in the regular season, here are your CFFL rankings
1. x-Deep Snappers (9-3)
2. y-Multiple Scoregasms (8-4); beat SOL
3. y-Sons Of Liberty (8-4)
4. x-Season 27 Champs (8-4); 1-1 vs. Guns, 2-2 division, outscored Guns by 15.5
5. x-Big Guns (8-4)
6. Maulers (5-7); beat Yankees
7. The Dirty Yankees (5-7); beat Factory
8. Freedom Factory (5-7)
9. Electric Mayhem (4-8); 1-1 vs Torpedoes/Swerve, outscored Torpedoes by 72.5
10. Damn The Torpedoes (4-8); beat Swerve
11. DoubleSwerve (4-8); beat Weasels
12. Weasels (4-8)
Rankings and tiebreakers were independently verified by the Deputy Commish.
Snappers will clinch the Central and the #1 seed with a win AND a Guns loss. SOL has clinched the West and at least the #3 seed. Chumps and Guns have clinched a playoff spots and at least the 4-5 seeds.
Assuming no ties, we will have at least one team with a losing record make the playoffs.
Snappers 134, Swerve 81: Snappers need to maintain top form with matchups against Chumps and Guns coming up.
Yankees 124, MSG 84.5: Yanks’ seven double-digit players did the trick vs. Jahmyr Gibbs and his 44 points. It helped that the rest of MSG’s lineup only totaled 40.5.
Factory 122, Mayhem 64: It was the Top Heavies vs. The F-Yous. You can guess who won.
Chumps 114.5, Guns 77.5: Chumps have won six in a row after starting 2-4.
Maulers 79.5, Torpedoes 71.5: Our only close game was also somehow the least interesting.
SOL 72, Weasels 57: Starting Baker over Stafford cost Weasels this one.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Heavy on the Highlights edition)
This will be a light one for a variety of reasons, but what it lacks in content it makes up for in highlights!
But first, the week 12 awards go to MSG with a Hard Luck 84.5 and SOL with a Dumb Luck 72.
Top 5 Plays of the Week, non-Cowboys category
5. Seems like James Cook has one of these a week
4. Kyle Pitts isn’t a thing. He’ll never be a thing.
3. Chimere Dike ran more than 140 yards on this 90 yard TD
2. JSN is a MAN
- Jahmyr Gibbs capped off his monster game with an OT TD
Any time the Cowboys beat the Eagles it’s worth celebrating, but the way they did it on Sunday was so ridiculous it merits its own top 5.
Top 5 Cowboys Plays of the Week, a 4th quarter chronology
5. If I had to choose right now I’d take Pickens over Lamb
4. Dak ran (and flew) into the end zone to tie the score in the 4th quarter
3. Undrafted rookie Alijah Clark made the hustle play of the year
2. At the two minute warning Osi Odighizuwa collected the Cowboys only sack of the game, but it was huge
- Aubrey won it at the gun
If we never see Will Levis again we may have to rename it the Joe Flacco Bonehead Play of the Week
Seriously, millions of viewers saw that INT coming before Flacco did
Trickeration of the Week, non-Giants category: Buffalo ran a perfect hook-and-ladder to convert on 4th and 27
Trickeration of the Week, Giants category: The ol’ Singletary-to-Jameis-to-Wan’Dale double pass TD
Of course the Jameis TD catch was the better play, so good that it’s featured in GIF form at the top of this post.
I have a new favorite commercial
The body hitting the floor at the end cracks me up every time.
Fat Guy TD: Cardinals rookie Walter Nolen took about 20 seconds to run seven yards.
Man, this week had everything.
Hochuli watch – BAM! Just like I called it, the Hochmeister was stuck with Browns/Raiders last week, and the hits keep on coming in week 13 as he gets another stinker with Falcons/Jets. It’s almost as if he’s being intentionally kept away from the big network games. Can’t imagine why . . .
Non-NFL Play of the Week, vintage edition
Buffalo’s hook and ladder was nice, but it wasn’t the greatest ever
The Commish Track of the Week is I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff. RIP.
Trivia question: Jaxon Smith-Njigba is one of two WRs this year with two games with 140+ receiving yards and a TD. Who is the other?1
The Nepo Babe of the Week is Liv Tyler. Imagine being raised by Todd Rundgren – a man who clearly got beat with the wrong end of the ugly stick – only to find out around age 12 that your dad is actually Steven Tyler – who looks like he swallowed the damn thing. Good thing her mom was hot.
Genetics are weird, man.
With no one eliminated yet every week 13 game is big, but none bigger than Snappers/Chumps. Not only is it the usual fight for family pride (Snappers leads the series 3-2 btw) but the #1 seed is potentially on the line. At the other end of the table, Torpedoes and Weasels will be fighting for their playoff lives. In fact, any team that gets to nine losses will most likely be eliminated.
Let’s wrap with this one from David Letterman: “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.”
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 13,
The Commish
- Wan’Dale Robinson ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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