Even though the rules let you start nine players, sometimes teams only need a few.
SOL 130.5, Guns 93.5: 5 (Achane, Daniels, London, Steelers D, McMillan = 105 points)
Snappers 121, Factory 84.5: 4 (Bijan, Jaxon, Caleb, Trey McB = 88)
Mayhem 118.5, Torpedoes 44: 2 (Hat Trick Cojones, Ja’Marr = 46)
MSG 91, Chumps 59.5: 3 (Maye, Taylor, McConkey = 61)
Swerve 90.5, Maulers 40: 2 (Jacobs, Goedert = 48.5)
Weasels 77, Yankees 73.5: 7 (Rams D, Baker, Rachaad, Travis Swift, Jake “Master” Bates, Walker, Meyers = 75). Ok sometimes you need all of them.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Thumb’s Up edition)
Award time! Hard Luck goes to Guns for losing with 93.5. Dumb Luck to Weasels for winning with 77. No Bench Mob or All In.
There are Bad Beats, and then there’s what happened to Yankees, who lost on a 45 yard Baker Mayfield TD pass . . . to Tez Johnson . . . who is on Yankees practice squad.
I don’t recall anyone ever getting beaten by their own practice squad guy before. And if the football gods are truly cruel, it will be the only TD of Johnson’s career.
Team of the Week
| QB | Patrick Mahomes | Mayhem | 31 |
| RB | Cam Skattebo | Yankees | 29 |
| RB | Bijan Robinson/Rico Dowdle | Snappers/Swerve | 29 |
| WR | Jaxon Smith-Njigba | Snappers | 22 |
| WR | George Pickens | Factory | 22 |
| TE | Dallas Goedert | Swerve | 21.5 |
| WR/TE | Drake London/Kayshon Boutte | SOL/FA | 21 |
| PK | Eddy Pineiro | FA | 18 |
| DST | Broncos | Factory | 25 |
| Total | 218.5 |
Week 6 Overreactions
- The Falcons are the most schizo team in the NFL. I have no idea how they’re going to play from one week to the next.
- After I declared his Archness to be ASS for losing to Florida he goes and does something right in beating Oklahoma. I’m still not convinced but for now Arch is once again NOT ASS.
- Football people who should be relieved of their current jobs immediately:
- Matt Eberflus
- Mike McDaniel
- Justin Fields
- Mike Norvell
- Bill Belichick
- No way in hell Cam Skattebo makes it to a second contract with the Giants or anyone else.
- The Steelers are the worst division leader but will be the first to clinch their division.
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. Tez Johnson caught a TD from Baker Mayfield. Maybe you heard about it.
4. De’Von Achane is the only thing working for the Dolphins.
3. Even in garbage time Ja’Marr Chase gets it done.
2. Kyren Williams with the one-cheek sneak on 4th and 3.
1. Bijan housed it from 81 against the formerly good Bills defense.
The Bonehead Play of the Week was whatever the Jets were doing at the end of the first half.
The person (or AI bot) that created this catastrophe has:
- Never seen an NFL game
- Never been to Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
- All of the above
The NFL London games seem to be, by and large, pretty crappy. Which, to be fair, is the only reasonable result when you send the Jets over. I heard some podcasters this week bemoaning the whole situation, asking how a league that is trying to grow the game overseas can keep sending the Jets, Jaguars, Browns, etc.
I think there are two reasons. First, the good teams don’t want to give up a home game, and second – it’s not and never was about growing the game internationally. It’s about the time slot.
For decades the NFL has dominated the Sunday early afternoon and late afternoon TV time slots. Then they added Monday night, then Sunday and Thursday nights, and they dominate all of those, and once the college season ends the NFL takes over the Saturday afternoon and evening time slots as well. Friday nights are supposed to be off limits due to the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961, but that hasn’t stopped the NFL from playing on Black Friday or opening the 2025 season on Friday in Brazil, so Fridays are probably just a matter of time.
Playing in Europe represents the NFL pushing its way into the Sunday morning time slot previously reserved for church. I’m sure years ago even the NFL wouldn’t have dared challenge the church, but times change and money talks, and Sunday morning is one of the few time slots left for the NFL to own. So they can talk about “growing the game internationally” all they want but it’s all about the TV viewership in the US.
Hochuli watch! The Hoch will be working the Dolphins/Browns game. Like we needed another reason to not watch that one.
In the latest installment of The Chronicles of Jerrah, our hero was fined $250,000 for flipping off Jets fans, which he claimed was supposed to be a thumbs up.
In Jerrah’s words, “I just put up the wrong show on the hand, but that was inadvertently done. The intention was thumbs up. There was a swarm of Cowboy fans out in front, not Jets fans, Cowboy fans. That was inadvertent on my part because that was right after we’d made our last touchdown and we were all excited about it.
“There wasn’t any antagonistic issue or anything like that.”
Well when you explain it like that it makes perfect sense. Who among us hasn’t meant to give an enthusiastic thumbs up to a friend or loved one and accidentally flip them the bird instead?
So in honor of Jerrah, let’s look at some other famous thumbs up in history.
There was the BBC announcer who gave her colleagues a thumbs up when she thought the camera was off:
When Florida State smashed Alabama to start the season, the cameras caught this Bama fan flashing an ardent thumbs up:
This was before FSU turned complete ASS.
Eagles fans are known for their fervent thumbs up, as demonstrated on air by Eli Manning:
And Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar for portraying an Eagles fan in some shit movie that I will never see, and channeled that role backstage with this authoritative thumbs up:
A thumbs up even made its way into the Marvel Cinematic Universe:
But best of all was Jack Black in High Fidelity, giving an energetic “shooting gallery” thumbs up to his best bud:
Such encouraging displays of positively are downright inspiring. I know you can’t see me, but I’m giving all of you a hearty thumbs up right now.
Uni Watch – last week had the all-whites, this week had an all-black courtesy of the Commanders.
Yeah that pretty much blows. No striping, no white, stupid top and bottom borders on the nameplates, bad number font on the jersey and helmet – none of it works for me.
The Falcons on the other hand do it right.
I’ve written about these unis before but I think this is their best look. There’s just enough red in the jersey and pants stripe to tie in the red helmet, which makes the whole uni. The black helmets would make it look boring but the red makes it pop.
It’s worth mentioning that the Bills went with a throwback all-white, as opposed to last week’s new all-white. I like the throwback a little better but I’m not a fan of the throwback buffalo logo on the helmet. Animal logos should never go for realistic.
Trivia question: Who is the only NFL player with 5+ receiving TDs and 500+ receiving yards?1
The Commish Track is Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J. It’s in a Jeep commercial that plays often enough that the track has earwormed its way into my head.
I’m not sure which is more unbelievable – that Predator has become a movie franchise, or that it’s apparently now the hero? What the holy hell? Nothing speaks to how lost the current generation is more than taking the “ugly MF” from the original movie and making it the good guy.
The Nepo Babe of the Week is Eve Hewson. Famous parent: Bono.
Week 7 is the halfway point of our season, which means the return of the weekly rankings. It’s hard to believe it has gone by this fast.
We’ll end with this from Demetri Martin “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 7,
The Commish
- George Pickens ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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