Factory 127, Swerve 77: The Factory left the #1 QB and #2 WR on the bench and still won by 50, and their bench would have won by 10.
Torpedoes 114.5, Snappers 106: Bo Nix and his 26 points led Torpedoes to a come-from-behind win on Monday night.
Guns 114, MSG 89: Ashton Jeanty has entered the chat.
SOL 111.5, Yankees 77.5: Three of SOL’s top four scorers came out of that godforsaken Monday night Dolphins-Jets matchup.
Weasels 99.5, Chumps 95: The football gods had enough and decided to punish Chumps’ for their JJ sacrilege.
Mayhem 98, Maulers 97.5: Mayhem just barely survived to up their lifetime record over Maulers to 19-10-1 (including postseason).
Ruminations and Cogitations (Jaxon BS edition)
Award time! Hard Luck to Snappers for losing with 106. Dumb Luck to Mayhem for winning with 98.
No Bench Mob but Swerve was close (74.5 – 77). No All In but Torpedoes bench only scored 9 points.
It was obvious to me Monday night that the Mayhem/Maulers loser would get the Bad Beat. In a game that close there are a million things to point at as the cause for the bad beat (Lamar’s injury and A.J. Brown’s goose egg come to mind), but the killer has to be Tucker Kraft getting stopped twice on the one foot line, with the second one initially ruled a TD but overturned on replay.
Bad Beat to Maulers, and there but for the grace of God goes Mayhem.
Week 4 Overreactions
- Every year some unexpected team starts really well, usually led by a below average QB on a heater, only to fade badly by the end of the season. This year screams that that team is the Colts but I don’t know that they’re going to fade. They could have beaten the Rams and gone to 4-0, and I think they’ll be a tough out for anyone.
- Too bad the Cowboys aren’t playing the Ravens this year. It would’ve been the first 90-90 tie in NFL history.
- Watching the Jets, Dolphins and Bengals on Monday night had me thinking that this is the longest NFL preseason I can remember.
- Week 17 – Saints @ Titans. The loser will be the first team to finish 0-17. The winner will be the first to 1-16.
- Because I know you care – my fantasy teams went 6-0 in week 4.
Team of the Week
| QB | Dak Prescott | Factory | 30 |
| RB | Ashton Jeanty | Guns | 32 |
| RB | Josh Jacobs | Swerve | 27 |
| WR | George Pickens | Factory | 25 |
| WR | Puka Nacua | Maulers | 23 |
| TE | Dallas Goedert | FA | 17 |
| WR/TE | Romeo Doubs | Factory | 23 |
| PK | Cairo Santos | FA | 19 |
| DST | Lions | Torpedoes | 26 |
| Total | 222 |
Top 5 Plays of the Week
It seems like some weeks it’s really hard to find five good plays, and other weeks there are so many it’s hard to narrow them down. Week 4 was one of the latter.
5. It’s not the best play, but Emeka Egbuka’s 77 yard TD was the prettiest.
4. Khalil Shakir should have been tackled twice on his 43 yard catch and run TD.
3. According to Next Gen Stats Justin Fields traveled 85.8 total yards on his 43 yard TD run Monday night.
2. Tutu Atwell made his one play for the year, but it was a doozy.
1. Dak Prescott and Jalen Tolbert for the best luckiest catch of the year so far.
During Thursday night’s Seahawks/Cardinals game I jotted down the following in my R&C notes:
“Jaxon BS”
But then I went to bed, got up at 3:45am Friday to catch two flights to get to Tampa, attended a company event, downed a few beers and bourbons (not together), got back late Saturday night, slept in Sunday (and missed the late Jaylen Warren scratch in another league), snoozed on and off during the NFL slate in the afternoon, eventually glanced at my notes, and realized . . . I had no idea what “Jaxon BS” meant.
“Jaxon” is clearly Jaxon Smith-Njigba but I have no recollection of what “BS” may have happened Thursday night. It’s a complete mystery, though not enough of one for me to Google it. So if any of you loyal readers have any idea what it might be, hit me up.
Once again, we have a bonus Top 5 – Special Teams Edition:
5. The Cowboys blocked an extra point and returned it for a safety and a three-point swing in a game that ended up in a tie.
4. The damn Eagles blocked another kick, this time a punt, and returned it for a TD.
3. The Jags’ Parker Washington returned a punt 87 yards for a TD . . .
2. . . . And so did the Patriots’ Marcus Jones.
1. The Bears blocked a FG to win the game over the Raiders.
Hoch Watch! Goody goody, our boy will be working the Patriots/Bills game on Sunday night. Bills fans already think he has it in for them, so much so that the Athletic did an article on it last year. Wait till the flags start flyin’ on Sunday night!
The Bonehead Play of the Week was a gimme. Adonai Mitchell, come on down!
To make matters worse, Mitchell also had a holding penalty that wiped out a 50 yard TD run from Jonathan Taylor, so he cost the Colts 14 points in a game they lost by 7. That will get you the Bonehead award every time.
Thursday night I caught the Amazon Prime Vision alternate broadcast of the Seahawks/Cardinals game, and for the most part it was pretty cool. It shows the game from above and behind the offense (aka the All-22) so you can see all the routes and coverages and shit. Basically it makes the live broadcast look like Madden. I liked it best on sideline throws, which Kyler Murray does a lot.
The worst part was that every few minutes Amazon’s chief nerd broke in to deliver a useless Next Gen stat or an equally useless description of the onscreen graphics. He was so bad I found myself wishing they would go back to Kirk Herbstreit. Still it was interesting enough that I’ll try Prime Nerd Vision again for the 49ers/Rams this week.
The Non-NFL Play of the Week was brought to you by . . . The Big Dumper!
Trivia question: according to an internet stat guy, who has the most WR targets without an end zone target through four weeks?1
Bruce Bochy and the Rangers have parted ways after three seasons and one World Series Championship. I’ll never understand the internet idiots who bitched about his lineup decisions or handling of the pitching staff. The man did the impossible and will forever be the greatest manager in Rangers history. As I wrote two years ago “(Bochy) has etched himself into the DFW coaching pantheon next to Tom Landry, Jimmy Johnson, Ken Hitchcock, and Rick Carlisle (I refuse to acknowledge the tenure of Barry Switzer).”
That said . . .
It’s become obvious that the Rangers 2023 season was an aberration, and one that might defy any logical or statistical explanation. Aside from 2023, they haven’t had a winning season since 2016. And the way they swooned in September 2023 there was no reason to believe they were capable of winning a championship.
I believe it was the baseball gods, perhaps the most fickle of the sports gods, who decided to give Rangers fans one great month to make up for 60 average to bad years. But after that it was back to the abyss.
Regardless of who they hire I don’t have a lot of hope for the future. The Rangers’ stars are old and I don’t see any future stars among the current youth. Maybe Wyatt Langford will grow into a superstar but I’m not betting on it. I think they might continue the string of non-winning seasons for a while yet.
So was the grand bargain of the baseball gods worth it? One great month and one championship in exchange for continued mediocrity? ABSO-EFFING-LUTELY
So good on ya, Bruce. Enjoy whatever it is you do next. And thank you from all us Rangers fans (even the idiots).
The Commish Track is Wouldn’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys. I was never into the “Brian Wilson was a genius” narrative – in fact I thought he was overrated – but after he died last year I admit I’m coming around a little. Not enough to make me want to listen to The Beach Boys catalog, but enough that I can better appreciate a handful of their songs, one of which is Wouldn’t It Be Nice.
It’s always been my favorite Beach Boys song, but the video below provides a good breakdown of the production and details how Brian Wilson built the sound one instrument at a time. And now I’m starting to appreciate him a little more.
Uni Watch – By now you should know me well enough to know that I would hate the Dolphins unis.
The Dolphins should never have black in their uni, much less as the base color. They even made the dolphin logo black, ensuring that you can’t see it against the black helmet. Somehow the aqua and orange don’t pop, and there’s no white, which is always a mistake.
Dallas Morning News writer Evan Grant said it best.
So the dirtbag in the T-Mobile commercials with Zoe Saldana is her real-life husband? Yeesh. Yet another douchebag who outkicked his coverage.
The Nepo Babe of the Week is Riley Keough, daughter of Lisa Marie, granddaughter of Elvis, actress and owner of Graceland.
This week’s one liner is my favorite line from Caddyshack. Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield), to his Asian assistant: “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ’em you’re Jewish, okay?”
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 5,
The Commish
- Puka Nacua ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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