Ruminations & Cogitations

Week 16, 2024

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cfflcommish
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CFFL Championship

#3 Deep Snappers vs. #8 Maulers

Previous result: Snappers beat Maulers 97 – 92 in week 9

So many storylines:

  • Snappers and Maulers are two OG franchises going back to the inaugural 1999 season
  • Each is gunning for their fourth championship, but this is the first time they’ve met in the final
  • Maulers is looking for their third title in four years
  • Mike already beat his son-in-law to get here, and only his brother-in-law stands in the way of total family supremacy
  • This is the second time we’ve had two 6-8 teams in the final. The first was Weasels’ improbable championship run in 2015, which came from the #8 seed.

Gator Bowl Winner: Big Guns

Guns wins $75 and the #1 pick in the 2025 draft, but we can all agree that their owner has already won at life.

Congrats, Randy

Ruminations and Cogitations (Bulldongs edition)

The top four picks in next year’s draft are set, as are the 10th and 11th picks. The rest are dependent on the outcome of the championship game.

If Snappers win:

  1. Big Guns
  2. Season 27 Champs
  3. Weasels
  4. DoubleSwerve
  5. Maulers
  6. Damn The Torpedoes
  7. Multiple Scoregasms
  8. Electric Mayhem
  9. Freedom Factory
  10. Sons of Liberty
  11. The Dirty Yankees
  12. Deep Snappers

If Maulers win:

  1. Big Guns
  2. Season 27 Champs
  3. Weasels
  4. DoubleSwerve
  5. Damn The Torpedoes
  6. Multiple Scoregasms
  7. Electric Mayhem
  8. Freedom Factory
  9. Deep Snappers
  10. Sons of Liberty
  11. The Dirty Yankees
  12. Maulers

The transaction pool currently sits at $812, good for 5th all-time, but we’ll have record payouts thanks to our increasing the draft fees to $75.

Draft fees$900.00
Transaction fees$812.00
Total$1712.00
Champion $731.00
Runner-up $403.00
Semi-finalistMayhem$201.50
Semi-finalistSOL$201.50
#1 seedYankees$100.00
Gator BowlGuns$75.00

Top 5 Plays of the Week

5. Jameson Williams went DEEP.

4. Saquon patiently waited for the hole to open, then blasted through it for a 68 yard TD. Beautiful.

3. Deebo got hit by three guys at the eight yard line and still somehow scored. Where has that been all year?

2. The Cowboys had two huge fourth quarter defensive plays – Jourdan Lewis’s interception and DaRon Bland’s strip fumble recovery.

1. Jayden Daniels might just be for real. You heard it here first.

Bonus: the Chargers conjured three points out of nowhere. What sorcery is this?

Credit to Terry McAulay. I normally don’t think the network rules analysts contribute a whole lot but he was all over that one.

Bonus Trickeration: the world’s first fake stumble TD.

Non-NFL Highlight of the Week

Week 16 Overreactions

  • My NFL MVP vote
    1. Josh Allen
    2. Lamar Jackson
    3. Saquon Barkley
    4. Jared Goff
  • Back in April the Falcons picked up Kyle Pitts’ fifth-year option for 2025. After that they need to let his ass go, or trade him if they can find someone who will take him.
  • Put it this way – I needed a TE for a playoff game and I gave no thought to picking up Pitts, instead putting in claims for two scrubs named Brenton Strange and Stone Smartt, both of whom outscored Pitts in week 16. In retrospect I should have claimed Chig Okonkwo, but that’s beside the point, which is that Kyle Pitts is worthless.
  • I made a couple of egregious errors last week. First I said The Ref was “my favorite Christmas-adjacent comedy” which totally overlooked Trading Places, and for which I apologize profusely to Jamie Lee Curtis.
  • Second, I left maybe the greatest Christmas movie ever off of my list of must-watch Christmas movies, so I’m removing the Christmas-adjacent movies and now present the official list, ranked.
  1. Elf
  2. Muppet Christmas Carol
  3. Scrooged
  4. Christmas Vacation
  5. A Christmas Story

Stat of the Week: The #8 seed is 2-0 all-time in CFFL championship games, but both of those wins came against the #7 seed.

The Commish Track is Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love. I’m calling an audible here as this track is obviously not on the draft playlist – yet – but ’tis the season and all that. The song is awesome enough but David Letterman made a tradition of bringing her out to perform it on his final show before Christmas, and she killed it every single time.

Trivia question: Which NFL team has gone the longest since their last playoff win?1

The 80s Babe of the Week is Victoria Principal. At the time I knew her as Pamela Barnes Ewing from “Dallas”, but she was well known for other reasons that I didn’t become aware of until later. I would go into detail, but I’m writing this at my parents’ house and my mother has already looked over my shoulder and commented “I thought you were working but you’re looking at pretty girls” (to which I responded “I am working”).

So if you want the goods, Google away. For best (i.e. NSFW) results, turn Safe Search off.

Week 17 has maybe the craziest NFL schedule since Covid, so both our finalists need to pay attention.

We’ll end it with a seasonal Dad joke: What did the naughty soccer announcer get from Santa Claus? COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!

Merry Christmas, and may the best team win,

The Commish

  1. Miami Dolphins (24 years) ↩︎

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