CFFL Semi-Finals
#2 Sons of Liberty vs. #8 Maulers
Previous results: SOL beat Maulers 93.5 – 37.5 in week 1 and 106 – 83 in week 12
#3 Deep Snappers vs. #5 Electric Mayhem
Previous result: Mayhem beat Snappers 135 – 94.5 in week 10
Gator Bowl
#2 Weasels vs. #4 Big Guns
Previous result: Weasels beat Guns 73 – 72 in week 7
SOL, Snappers and Weasels will get a 3.75 home-field advantage bonus
Ruminations and Cogitations (Revenge of the Original Six edition)
I haven’t looked but this has to be the first time the original six CFFL owners are the last ones standing. Four of us (Randy, Ken, and the two Mikes) go back to the inaugural CISFL season of 1999, and Jimmy and Carl joined in 2000. Maulers’ owner put it best: “That’s over 150 years of fantasy football experience” (way to apply your math skills there Mike). The six losers? A mere 42 years. Amateurs.
The current payouts:
| Draft fees | $900.00 |
| Transaction fees | $788.00 |
| Total | $1688.00 |
| Champion | $719.00 |
| Runner-up | $397.00 |
| Semi-finalist | $198.50 |
| Semi-finalist | $198.50 |
| #1 seed (Yankees) | $100.00 |
| Gator Bowl | $75.00 |
My fellow greybeards and I look forward to spending you young’uns money on such frivolities as Metamucil, compression socks, and Viagra.
Week 15 Team of the Week
| QB | Josh Allen/Jared Goff | Guns | 40 |
| RB | James Conner | Chumps | 25 |
| RB | James Cook | Snappers | 25 |
| WR | Davante Adams | Maulers | 33 |
| WR | Mike Evans | Weasels | 27 |
| TE | Sam LaPorta/Jonnu Smith | Yankees/Snappers | 14.5 |
| WR/TE | Amon-Ra St. Brown | Maulers | 24 |
| PK | Chase McLaughlin | FA | 18 |
| DST | Falcons | FA | 20 |
| Total | 226.5 |
Throughout its dominant regular season, the East never had a week below .500 until week 15 – the most important week of the season – when they went 1-3. After all that bragging I did, it turned out Mayhem was the only one that could back it up.
The truth is that all of my bluster was masking a simple truth that I chose not to disclose – that according to the Commish Luck Rankings™ the three luckiest teams in the league were, in order, Factory, Yankees, and MSG. All three had records that exceeded their middle-of-the-pack scoring and breakdown rankings. Mayhem, meanwhile, was second in scoring and tied for third in the Power Rankings despite their 7-7 record.
Way to go guys.
Week 15 Overreactions
- My NFL MVP vote
- Josh Allen
- Lamar Jackson
- Saquon Barkley
- Jared Goff
- Ok, maybe Jameis won’t get a starting job in 2025.
- It doesn’t seem right that only one NFL North team will get a home playoff game.
- If Coach Nerd in Miami isn’t on the various hot seat lists, he should be. His vaunted offense isn’t finding any room to run anymore, and he can’t figure out any new ways to cover Tua’s flaws.
- I can do without any Christmas song recorded in the last 30 years.
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. Houston’s Derek Stingley Jr. picked off Tua to seal the win and the division crown.
4. James Cook had a great TD run but dude, cut your hair.
3. Baker channeled his inner Johnny Football by running around, closing his eyes and heaving it somewhere toward Mike Evans.
2. Jayden Daniels bought enough time for Terry McLaurin to cross the entire field and haul in this touchdown.
1. Denver’s Nick Bonitto scored his second pick 6 in as many games. Technically this wasn’t a pick 6, it was a fumble recovery, but you get the idea.
BONUS: Fat Guy TD!
BONUS BONUS: Trickeration!!
Week 15 Uni Watch
The Lions busted out all-black uniforms with a blue helmet, and unsurprisingly I can’t get onboard. A lot of people apparently like it but it looks to me like something the Carolina Panthers would wear, and that’s not a franchise anyone should be emulating.
The Seahawks went with their all lime green uniforms. Hideous.
The Vikings debuted their “Winter Warrior” unis – all-white with white helmets. It’s the best of the three but I’m just not a fan of monochromatic unis.
As a palette cleanser, here are the Cowboys’ road blues.
Stat of the Week: Over last three games combined, Chicago has been outscored in the first half 53-0.
Man, the entire NFL had a case of the drops last week.
First it was Deebo who learned a valuable lesson – he who whineth about not getting the ball enough had damn well better catch it when it does come.
Then shit just went off the rails. Jonathan Taylor cost thousands of people a fantasy playoff win by inexplicably dropping the ball before he crossed the goal line.
But at least Taylor dropped it intentionally. Cincinnati’s Jordan Battle accidentally coughed up the ball as he was about to score. I honestly can’t decide which is worse.
Non-NFL Play of the Week: People much smarter than I are calling this the greatest Premier League save ever.
The Commish Track is I Feel Fine by the Beatles, which feels quite fitting after a week 15 win.
I added a “new” movie to my Christmas watch list – 1994’s The Ref starring Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis. It’s my favorite Christmas-adjacent comedy, though admittedly I haven’t seen very many.
This brings my list of must-watch Christmas movies to five six.
- A Christmas Story
- Elf
- Muppet Christmas Carol
- Scrooged
- Christmas Vacation
- The Ref
As I’ve only watched The Ref so far this year, I’d better get moving.
Trivia question: Rico Dowdle is the first undrafted player with three straight 100-plus rushing-yard games since this back did it ten years ago. Name that RB!1
The 80s Babe of the Week is Susanna Hoffs, former lead singer of The Bangles and creator of a seminal 80s music video moment when flashed the ol’ side eyes in “Walk Like An Egyptian”.
Exhibit A:
She falls into the Julia Louis-Dreyfus category of babes who got hotter as they got older.
Exhibit B:
The week 15 losers plus the loser of the Gator Bowl will be sending Carl money in the coming weeks. The exception is Yankees, who won our first-ever $100 prize for winning the #1 seed. The week 15 winners plus the Gator Bowl champ will finish in the money.
We’ll end with a Dad joke: Do humans eat more bananas than monkeys? Yes, most grocery stores don’t even sell monkeys.
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 16, and may the best team win.
The Commish
- Arian Foster, Weeks 5-8, 2014 https://www.nfl.com/news/2024-nfl-season-week-15-what-we-learned-from-sunday-s-games#dalvscar ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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