Yankees 111, Chumps 83: Derrick Henry and George Kittle provided plenty of cover for Chris Olave’s negative score.
Swerve 98.5, Maulers 87: Wrong QB, Maulers. Wrong QB.
SOL 96.5, Mayhem 88: Mayhem’s DST had a punt return TD, three INTs and a sack and still only scored 5 points.
Torpedoes 89.5, Snappers 77: Snappers were done in by injuries to James Cook and Rasheed Shaheed. That and Chris Godwin doubling the combined score of all their receivers.
MSG 87.5, Guns 75: Is it me or are all these scores the same?
Factory 73.5, Weasels 57: Weasels posted the first double goose egg of the year.
Ruminations and Cogitations (Ready, Fire, Aim edition)
If you didn’t see it Mayhem made an add/drop on Monday afternoon. Nobody asked but I wanted to explain that it was a legal transaction because the add (Vikings DST) was on a bye week and the drop (Mike Williams) didn’t play until Monday night, so neither were locked.
Week 6 awards go to Mayhem (Hard Luck) and Factory (Dumb Luck). SOL got close to the Bench Mob (87 bench points) and Factory got close to the All In (6 bench points).
BTW, I lost in another league this week because the tiebreaker was bench points and all my guys were on bye weeks, which is bullshit. I’m glad our tiebreaker is based on the starting lineups’ stats.
Is anyone else seeing these annoying vids on cbssports? I seem to recall that a vid used to pop up once in a while but you could close it, but now they’re permanent. Every time I’m on the website I see the same three dopes on an infinite loop. Thank God it’s muted but for $150 a year we should at least have the right to turn the damn things off.
I don’t see vids on the app, but guess what? I don’t use the app, except to check scores on Sunday. Call me old but I still use a PC and go to the website (however there’s no truth to the rumor that I use Netscape to do so).
I only recently realized that when I say “you can click here to see player details” or “don’t forget to click Set Lineup” I never make it clear that I’m referring to the full website and not the app (though the word “click” should give it away). I’ll try to remember that going forward, or you could just remember that your Commish is an old man.
BTW the CBS app really sucks. If I used it regularly I would push to move to ESPN or even Yahoo. I don’t know how you young’uns put up with it.
The Player of the Week was *checks stats* Sean Tucker? Whoever that is, he scored 31 points. Boy I feel sorry for whoever has the Saints defense.
Other top scorers:
QB: Caleb Williams (SOL), 29
WR: Chris Godwin (Torpedoes), 24
TE: Cole Kmet (MSG), 21.5
Week 6 Overreactions
- Detroit will host Tampa Bay in the NFC Championship game.
- The Chargers are the most boring team in the NFL.
- Since the Raiders and Browns appear to be sellers now, the Lions should go all in and trade for Maxx Crosby or Myles Garrett. Because those guys should be easy to get.
- The Stars won’t give up a goal the rest of the season. UPDATE: they gave up two tonight to a bad San Jose team. Oh well, dare to dream.
- Slow Horses is the best show on TV or streaming.
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. The Browns blocked a FG and returned it for a TD, with bonus insightful commentary from Johnathan Vilma
4. That Deebo dude is fast
3. You all know by now that I don’t celebrate one-handed catches, but I make exceptions for SMU alums
2. Joe Burrow ran for a 47 yard touchdown
1. Christ, not again
Trivia question: Who are the two current NFL franchises whose all-time TD reception leaders are tight ends?1
Coaches Corner
Without question, the worst coach/QB combo to win a Superb Owl is Doug Pederson and Nick Foles. And they beat Belichick and Brady! It’s mind-boggling that it even happened.
Speaking of Eagles coaches, Nick Sirianni is a tool who will never get another head coaching gig in the NFL. The Heed The Call podcast (formerly Around The NFL) has a great bit called “Nick Sirianni is the guy who … “. Here’s part of the latest installment . . .
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsIt’s time for another edition of …
— Dan Hanzus (@DanHanzus) October 14, 2024
Nick Siriani Is The Guy Who …
Week 6 @HeedTheCallPod flagship show is out now! pic.twitter.com/aNgjY2hjm1
Followed up by highlights of some listener contributions on Reddit:
… gets number 69 on his custom jersey for tailgating
… has a Female Body Inspector shirt with ripped off sleeves to mow the lawn
… still draws dicks on the back window of his mom’s minivan
… shouted “TIMEOUT!” right before he got tagged at recess
… blasts Limp Bizkit in the Costco parking lot
… likes to physically demonstrate the tush push at family gatherings
… still remembers his stats from high school
Ok I’d be guilty of the last one, if I had any stats from high school.
What the Browns are doing to two-time Coach of the Year Kevin Stefanski is disgraceful. Every time I hear him state that DeShaun Watson will remain the starter I think he might as well be made of felt and have Jimmy Haslam’s hand up his ass. It’s incredulous to think that he would keep playing Watson of his own volition when the evidence is so clear that Watson can’t play anymore. I honestly think he should defy Haslam and just bench Watson for Famous Jameis. Sure he’d get fired, but that would at least be a public admission that Haslam was forcing the Watson decision. I’d have to think someone would hire him just for sticking it to Haslam like that.
After the latest Cowboys fiasco the predictable narrative was that Mike McCarthy needed to go, but how come no one is talking about firing Mike Zimmer? Granted I don’t listen to local talk radio but I haven’t heard much discussion about it. I’ve always thought Zimmer was very overrated as a DC, and after six games I think he’s proved that he’s not cut out for it any more. This is eerily reminiscent of the Mike Nolan experiment, which lasted ten games longer than it should have.
Jerrah has made many, many coaching mistakes (dumping JJ, hiring dumb-ass Barry Switzer, firing Chan Gailey, promoting poor Dave Campo, the Jason Garrett Decade of Sadness) but keeping McCarthy and letting Dan Quinn leave will go down as the biggest.
Stat of the Week: through the first three home games of last season, the Cowboys outscored their opponents 111-33. In three home games this season, the Cowboys have been outscored 119-53.
Worst performance, bad team: Dallas. They no longer fall into the “good team” category.
Worst performance, good team: Buffalo. They would have lost if Greg Zuerlein was any good at his job.
Best performance, bad team: Chicago. Yes, Caleb Williams has looked good the last three weeks, but he’s beaten the Rams, Panthers, and Jaguars. Let’s see how he does against the rest of the NFC North.
Best performance, good team: Detroit. They were focused on sticking it to the Cowboys, and they never let their foot off the gas. Respect.
If the top of our draft had gone the way I had mocked it, Swerve would have taken Derrick Henry and would probably be 5-1; Mayhem would have taken CeeDee and would probably be 1-5, and Maulers would have re-drafted Ja’Marr Chase and might still be 3-3.
That’s it. That’s the rumination.
The Commish Track is Save It For Later by English Beat. Also covered (separately) by Pete Townshend and Eddie Vedder.
Referee hand signals, ranked
5. Soccer. Soccer refs pretty much have one type of signal – pointing. For fouls they point one direction or another, for offside they point straight up, for penalties they point to the penalty spot. The only variation they make is for the worst hand signal in all sports – Video Assisted Referee, or VAR. When VAR makes a decision, the ref draws a rectangle in the air, as if mimicking a video screen, before pointing somewhere. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Best soccer signal: Penalty kick. The ref blows the whistle and points directly at the penalty spot. It’s simple and the entire audience knows that something major is about to happen. It’s not a great signal but it’s the best of a bad lot.
4. Basketball. B-Ball refs don’t have much in the way of signals, they mostly just indicate the number of the player that committed a foul. They don’t even point much except for charging calls. They do get bonus points for sharpest whistle blasts however.
Best basketball signal: Blocking foul, signaled by emphatically slamming the fists against the front of the hips. There’s no way to make that signal and not be dramatic about it.
Of course some dudes can go overboard with it
3. Football. Football has too many signals, and they’re all pretty boring. Maybe it’s due to overexposure, with the number of games each weekend and the sheer number of penalties called (see Bills/Jets on MNF). Seriously, if holding can be called on every play, maybe the rule needs to change . . .
Best football signal: Safety, the only ref signal in any sport that incorporates prayer hands.
2 Baseball. Umps don’t have many signals but baseball is the only sport that allows for personal interpretation. No two umps have the same strike or out call. The signals themselves are basic but classic, and personal flair goes a long way. Bonus points for being the only sport where the officials don’t use whistles.
Best baseball signal: Out. What started out as a simple raising of the right fist has evolved into an air punch, and it gets more exaggerated the closer the play is.
1. Hockey. Hockey signals are great because they almost all mimic the actual illegal act. Slashing looks like whacking someone with a stick, hooking looks like using your stick to, well, hook someone, interference isn’t acted out but it’s signaled by making an X with your arms, which is cool.
Best hockey signal: Cross checking. The ref mimics raising the stick, holding it horizontally, and smashing someone in the mouth with it. Awesome.
Honorable mention for boarding, which is smacking a fist into an open palm.
The 80s Babe of the Week is Markie Post who played Christine, the cute prosecutor on the original Night Court. Christine was a buttoned-up goody-two-shoes type, so it surprised me to learn that she did a bunch of cheesecake bikini shoots back in the day. I don’t know if she did it before Night Court or if she was trying to shed the Christine image, but either way I approve.
Speaking of hockey, this happened tonight
He’s on my fantasy team, so naturally goalie goals don’t count.
Believe it or not week 7 is the halfway point of our regular season, which means I’ll start publishing the official rankings starting with next week’s R&C.
We’ll end it on a Dad joke: Where do pirates get their hooks? The second hand store.
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 7,
The Commish
- Ravens (Tony Gonzalez) and Chiefs (Travis Kelce)
Source: some dude on X ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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