Swerve 112.5, SOL 78: A beating that started with CeeDee Lamb on Thursday and ended with Geno Smith and Tony Pollard on Monday night.
MSG 95.5, Torpedoes 94.5: MSG needed 19 points from Jahmyr Gibbs on Monday night, and MSG got 19 points from Jahmyr Gibbs on Monday night.
Factory 93.5, Guns 89.5: Waiver wire add of the year Jordan Mason still doing his thing.
Yankees 93, Maulers 79.5: Yankees got more points from Derrick Henry’s first carry than Maulers got from all but two players. I’m sure that won’t come up at family gatherings.
Mayhem 87, Chumps 68.5: This winning margin was brought to you by the Burrow/Chase Foundation.
Snappers 81, Weasels 81: Snappers won it on the rushing/receiving yards tiebreaker.
Ruminations and Cogitations (For The Next Thirty Days We’re Still The World Series Champs edition):
I’m back home after my emergency scouting trip to Chicago. Thanks to all of you who expressed your concern. I don’t want to say too much here but our daughter was in some distress. She’s doing better but we all have a tough road ahead of us.
Week 4 awards: Hard Luck to Torpedoes for losing with 94.5, Dumb Luck to Mayhem for winning with 87. Bench Mob to SOL (84-78). And the Bad Beat goes to Weasels for losing on a Mark Andrews drop that hit him right in the hands.
The Players of the Week were Justin Fields (Snappers) and Derrick Henry (Yankees), each with 32 points
The other top players by position:
WR Nico Collins (MSG), 21
TE: Tucker Kraft (FA), 15
PK: Nick Folk (FA), 24
DST: 49ers (Factory), 22
Week 4 Overreactions
- Washington will win the NFC East
- I’m loving the resurgence of the RB and hope it lasts
- Not so crazy about the decline of the TE however
- Detroit looked good but Seattle is better than I thought
- The Cowboys will be underdogs in every game until November 10 vs the Eagles, and it’s getting harder and harder to find wins on their schedule
The MLB playoffs started today, and the Rangers aren’t a part of it, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. As a refresher, here are the results of the Rangers last eight seasons:
2017: losing season
2018: losing season
2019: losing season
2020: losing season
2021: losing season
2022: losing season
2023: WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
2024: losing season
The way I see it though, that one outlier season bought an awful lot of goodwill. If someone had offered us a decade of losing Rangers baseball with a World Series trophy mixed in, we all would have taken it without question.
What gets me though are the online “fans” that bitch about Bruce Bochy lineup decisions, or Chris Young roster moves, or Adolis Garcia’s slumping bat and glove, as if 2023 never happened. How can anyone be so miserable that they can’t enjoy DFW’s most unexpected championship (sorry, 2011 Mavs) for even a few months?
Well not this (formerly) grumpy Rangers fan. I’m still smiling about last October and I will be for a long time, as I don one of my three World Series Champion shirts and my World Series Champion cap and watch the 2023 World Series highlights for the 1000th time.
Top 5 Plays of the Week
5. Josh Allen is ridiculous
4. David Montgomery had the angriest run of the year so far
3. George Kittle outjumped three miscellaneous Patriot dudes
2. Hat Trick Cojones aired out the longest throw of his NFL career
1. Derrick Henry scored 14 points on his first carry
Bonus Trickeration of the Week – call it the Detroit Special
Stat of the Week: Derrick Henry and Xavier Worthy each hit 21.2 MPH on their fastest runs on Sunday. Worthy weighs 165 pounds. Henry weighs 243.
In trying times such as these, with uncertainty and despair seemingly just around every corner, it’s important that we hang on to the little things that bring us joy. The wonderful, beautiful things that we wish could last forever, but deep down know they won’t. Things such as …
… the Will Levis Bonehead Play of the Week!
It’s truly remarkable how he manages to do something like that every week. If you missed them, here are his blunders from week 1, week 2 and week 3.
But even with the videos, some things are better expressed in meme form.
Titans head coach Broheim McManaman said today that Levis is the unquestioned starter if healthy, which of course means his days are numbered, so let’s enjoy this while it lasts. For as the philosopher (or was it a Marvel superhero?) said: “A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts”. And Will Levis sure ain’t gonna last.
With the baseball playoffs starting today, here is the Commish Likability Index – 2024 MLB Playoff Teams:
- Yankees – sorry but with the Rangers out they’re my team
- Tigers – just for the WTF factor
- Guardians – how can you not root for a team that hasn’t won a World Series in 76 years?
- Phillies – for a team that hasn’t won anything I like their swagger
- Padres – for Jurickson Profar alone
- Dodgers – I like them but I’m getting tired of their playoff flameouts every year
- Royals – I’ve never liked the franchise but their success this year is so unexpected I can’t help but root for them a little
- Orioles – I like that they’re suddenly good after decades of futility, but going back to last year they’re 0-4 in the playoffs
- Brewers – I can’t name one player on that team
- Mets – c’mon, we can do better than these guys, right?
- Braves – never liked them, never will
- Astros – I hope Bregman, Altuve and their bitch-ass fans fall into a sinkhole
The 80s Babe of the Week is Christie Brinkley. For obvious reasons.
I know we’re supposed to like Mike McDaniel but something about him bugs me. At first I thought it was because he was a little too self-aware of his nerdery, almost like he was embellishing it to feed the media narrative. But this season he’s had a Miami makeover (new hair, designer glasses and sweats, etc.), and it comes off like he’s spending more time on his new image and less time on actually coaching his football team.
That’s an oversimplification, but there’s no denying that the Dolphins were woefully unprepared for this season. Either that or the Nerd Genius was somehow stupid enough to bank his entire season on the most fragile QB this side of Anthony Richardson. I know QBs don’t grow on trees, but with Tua’s concussion history how do you go into a season with Skylar Thompson and Tim Boyle as your backups?
It reminds me of a story I heard about Tom Moore, the long-time offensive coordinator who coached Peyton Manning with the Colts. When asked about Manning’s habit of taking all of the snaps at practice and leaving none for his backups, Moore replied, “If 18 goes down we’re f*cked, and we don’t practice f*cked.”
Trivia question – without looking, name the top fantasy player through Week 4.1
The Commish Track is Jesus Just Left Chicago by ZZ Top.
I’m still on my Rangers kick, so here the top five Rangers plays of the last 12 months:
5. Josh Smith walks off the g**damn Astros
4. Marcus Semien puts Game 5 out of reach
3. El Bombi walks off Game 1
2. Josh Sborz throws the greatest (and luckiest?) pitch in Rangers history
1. Corey Seager ties up Game 1
In honor of Christie Brinkley, here are the Top 5 Dudes Who Outkicked Their Coverage (present company excepted)
1. Billy Joel. The patron saint of lucky bastards everywhere. The most amazing and unbelievable thing about his whole relationship with Christie Brinkley is that he dumped a teenage Elle MacPherson for her.
2. Ric Ocasek. They were married for 30 years, but still, this has to be a joke, right?
3. Lyle Lovett. I can’t fathom how those two worlds ever collided.
4. Dave Franco. Admittedly he’s a pretty good-looking guy, but Alison Brie is so hot she’d make anyone look like a doofus. Plus he has a very punchable face.
5. Geoffery Arend. An absolute schlub who somehow landed Christina Hendricks, the bustiest redhead this side of Jessica Rabbit.
We’ll end it on this: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints.
Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 5,
The Commish
- Jayden Daniels ↩︎
Ruminations & Cogitations 
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