Ruminations & Cogitations

Week 2, 2024

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by

cfflcommish
in
Ah, the smell of it

SOL 131, Weasels 72: SOL got so bored with scoring regular TDs that they had Trey McBride score on a rare offensive fumble recovery TD

Snappers 112, Swerve 73: James Cook opened up the scoring early and Snappers never looked back

Chumps 98.5, Guns 85: Guns’ strategy of starting two Bears WRs ended predictably

Maulers 97, Torpedoes 86: With balanced scoring like that, who needs Cheat Code?

Yankees 93.5, MSG 81: Must be nice to leave a 42 point RB on your bench and still win

Factory 88.5, Mayhem 60: If only I had started the right QB … and the right WR … and picked up the right TE … Mayhem would have prevailed. I was so close.

Ruminations and Cogitations (Caught up in a whirlwind edition):

There are (gasp) no awards for week 2. No winning score would have lost another game, and no losing score would have won. Try again next week!

Guess who the Player of the Week was? I swear he didn’t get touched the whole game.

Other top scorers:

QB: Kyler Murray (Factory), 27

WR: Marvin Harrison Jr (SOL), 25

TE: George Kittle (Yankees), 16.5

PK: Austin Siebert (FA), 22

Week 2 Overreactions

  • Joe Mixon will not win the 2024 rushing title.
  • The best division in the NFL is the NFC South. Even with Carolina.
  • With so many slow starts and injuries by guys who were held out of preseason, I bet in a few years NFL teams will start playing starters in preseason again.
  • With injuries decimating the 49ers and Rams, the Seahawks and Cardinals look like the playoff contenders from the NFC West.
  • In week 6, the Saints/Bucs game will be bigger than the Cowboys/Lions game.

Top 5 Plays of the Week

5. I feel like it’s been a while since Davante Adams did something ridiculous like this.

4. JK Dobbins “somersets into the endzone“.

3. Welcome to the NFL, Marvin Harrison Jr. Or more aptly – Welcome to Marvin Harrison Jr, NFL.

2. Rashid Shaheed got behind the Cowboys “defense”

1. Justin Jefferson had one of them 15 point plays, but the real highlight is the official outrunning the 49ers defenders

Bonus play – Fat Guy TD!

Bonus bonus play – one-handed grabs usually don’t impress me but this one was nice.

I had a horrible sports weekend, but the end of MNF almost redeemed it entirely. There’s nothing quite like watching Philadelphia lose a game they had in the bag. The win probability graph is always fun in these type of games, but even more so when it’s the Eagles.

Beautiful

The only way it could have been better is if the final Atlanta drive happened while Jason Kelce was on the way from the MNF booth to the field, so that he left fully confident of an Eagles win only to emerge and see the Jalen Hurts pick at the end and be left to wonder what the f— happened.

Worst performance, bad team: Carolina. They might be here a while.

Worst performance, good team: Dallas. Told you.

Best performance, bad team: Las Vegas. Minshew will get them on this list a few times.

Best performance, good team: Buffalo. James Cook should’ve gone to Florida State.

Ranking the 2-0 teams

  1. Chiefs – could easily be 0-2 but they’re #1 until they lose
  2. Bills – not convinced their defense will hold up but so far so good
  3. Saints – not convinced their offense will hold up but so far so good
  4. Texans – I don’t want to like them but damn they can be fun to watch
  5. Buccaneers – I don’t want to like Baker Mayfield but damn in this offense he can be fun to watch
  6. Steelers – they’ll finish 9-8 and stay in the playoff conversation all year
  7. Chargers – a nice start but we’ve seen this before
  8. Seahawks – quick, name their head coach
  9. Vikings – I hope Sam Darnold plays this well all year but I’m not betting on it

Trivia question: Which starting QB had a perfect passer rating in week 2?1

Ranking the 0-2 teams

  1. Ravens – they can’t lose to the Cowboys and go 0-3, can they?
  2. Bengals – should be 2-0
  3. Rams – with their injuries they have no shot
  4. Colts – I don’t want to rank them this high, but Jesus the rest of this list …
  5. Jaguars – is there a more overrated coach/QB combo than Doug Pederson and Trevor Lawrence? Each has one good year and a whole lot of meh on their resume.
  6. Titans – I like their coach for having the stones to call his dumb QB dumb in public
  7. Broncos – this is Sean Payton’s rebuilding year but I’m not convinced it will get much better after that
  8. Giants – only one reason why they aren’t at the bottom of this list
  9. Panthers – there you go

Stat of the week #1 – The Saints became the first team since the 2001 Colts to score 30+ points in the first halves of both their first two games.

And how did the Colts finish that year?

The Chiefs are 2-0 by the thinnest possible margin, but they’ve been so good for so long I honestly think they get bored with regular season games. I mean, when you’ve been to four of the last five Superb Owls and won the last two, how could you not?

This feels like last year to me – they’ll sleepwalk through the season and everyone will say that this is the year the dynasty ends, but they’ll win the division and do just enough to run the table in the playoffs. At no point will they look utterly dominant, and yet they’ll end up with a threepeat.

“Walkin’ the tightrope, steppin’ on my friends … “
“… Walkin’ the tightrope, was a shame and a sin”

This seems like it will be a weekly feature (at least until he gets benched) – The Will Levis Bonehead Play of the Week!

And here was the Week 1 winner

Stat of the week #2 – The Giants became the first NFL team to lose in regulation when scoring 3 TDs and allowing none. They are literally inventing new ways to lose.

Don’t blame the reporter, dude

Since I quoted it in the captions above, the Commish Track is Tightrope by SRV.

Speaking of FSU – and I don’t intend to much this year – it’s pretty clear that karma is real, especially for 13-0 teams that boycott their bowl game (they haven’t won a game since then btw).

I can’t find it now but someone posted on social media that the drop off from Jordan Travis to DJ Uiagalelei is the steepest since the drop off from Trevor Lawrence to DJ Uiagalelei.

They’re still my college football side chick, but it’s hard to say they don’t deserve this.

That’s great, but what’s up with the Ken doll in front?

The 80s Babe of the Week is Erin Gray. You can have Princess Leia, I’ll take Col. Wilma Deering from Buck Rogers.

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi …
A 25th century belly shirt? I’m down.

We’ll end it with a Dad joke: A Roman centurion walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says “Five beers please.” Don’t scoff, that joke won me a year’s subscription to Footballguys.

Good luck to everyone (almost) in week 3,

The Commish

  1. Kyler Murray. I guess he can throw the ball downfield after all. ↩︎

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